HRT | robintaylorann's Blog

So yesterday was my second therapy session and it went fairly well we were just chatting and she asked what stops I had taken to contact the Endocrinology department at the University of Kentucky this caught me off guard for two  reasons 1) even though I had been hoping to move to HRT after this appointment I had set myself up expecting it not to happen for whatever reason & 2) I thought that HRT was all hinging on her request and OK. So needless to say I spent the next little bit stuttering. 

It wasn't til late last night that I was able to process the events of the day as something that actually happened and then the "fears" started to creep into my mind,,,, not the fear that what I was doing is truly what I want oh no I've never once had that thought cross my mind! what is crossing my mind is Am I strong enough? What do I do next? I can't even consider Electrolysis/Laser til next spring SHOULD I even be starting HRT if I can't do hair removal?  

I'm sure i'm not the only person to have these thoughts, fears and concerns but I my mind I am!!! They just keep rolling over and over and over and literally has me shaking, now I understand and know wholeheartedly understand that i'm over reacting and stressing over things that I can't change and can deal with if I just take a moment, STOP and take a deep breath....and remember to let it out and not hold it til I pass out. 

I did learn in my area, Ashland about a 30 minute drive from me there are several  Endocrinology departments with in the KDMC network along with one who specializes in Transgender which floored me, i mean in this area????? I also found out after getting an email on a dating site i'm on that i'm also not the only Trans person in this area and they shared with me the information about the Dr's in my area which almost made me cry. So I've got my phone calls in BUT they do need the sign off of my Dr first before setting up any appointments so THAT's my next step 

It's just hard when living on a strict budget every month to:
~Pay bills
~save money to move 
~ Transition expenses
~co-pays and medicines
~oh and buy for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!
A $1000 a month does not even begin to scratch the surface of what I need and is the base root of all my fears. So yeah the past few days has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride,,, oh and finding out last week my Ex (and still good friend) has cancer, finding out she has 3 cancers and then learning one of them is stage 4 has just crushed my heart and soul and left me just a sobbing mess